So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
