You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
