Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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