A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize