Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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