I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
