Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
