I want to make a zoo with you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
