Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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