Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You may now shotgun with the bride
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Congratulations! We have a period
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