found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You did what with his pubic hair?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
