JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
