Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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