I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
