It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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