whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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