Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
please come you make the beer taste better
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
