maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
