Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
