quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
