Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
