maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
