Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
