and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
