I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
