Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
