take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
