woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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