its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize