john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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