The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize