i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My vagina just recognized that song.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
