her facebook's as public as her vagina
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
