I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
