yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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