No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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