Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
