Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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