so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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