omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
