Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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