And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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