forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
