Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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