the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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