he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you win again, gameday.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
