if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize