He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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