I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
