You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
