First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
