When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
