peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
