oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
