Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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