I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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