I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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