Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
