do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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