all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
