He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
