perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
