If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
