Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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