i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
