he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
