Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Randomize
