Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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