we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
