i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
