I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i came on her dog
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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