I wanna passion pit in your ass
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Hippo gnu deer
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
