We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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