Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize